Scotchland
What the feck have you done today?
- Thread starter The GOAT
- Start date
I bought my car in March 2015, and I have had over 11 years of setting the sat-nav and not knowing how to stop the guidance.
Until today, the option to stop the guidance only appeared if I stopped the engine and restarted it.
Today, I remembered to google it, and discovered that all I need to do is press the control centre piece down.
Until today, the option to stop the guidance only appeared if I stopped the engine and restarted it.
Today, I remembered to google it, and discovered that all I need to do is press the control centre piece down.
First world problems
My mother (93yrs) lives alone in a big house. My 3 remaining siblings all live a considerable distance from her. She has a carer go in once a day.
3 days ago shortly after my last visit her 'thru floor' lift packed up. She can't use the stairs so had to sleep in the chair. The lift people couldn't come out for two weeks so we found another company who came out the next day. They have ordered a part but can give no indication of how log it will be before they get it let alone fix it. (I suspect that if I took it apart I could get it going again).
Meanwhile my siblings have been texting all bloody morning with ideas about putting her in a home, moving a bed downstairs, getting an extra care visit p.m. etc.
Then mother who is deaf, finally gets her hearing aids charged and tells us she is very happy and is quite prepared to weather the storm til the lift is fixed!
What a waste of a morning
My mother (93yrs) lives alone in a big house. My 3 remaining siblings all live a considerable distance from her. She has a carer go in once a day.
3 days ago shortly after my last visit her 'thru floor' lift packed up. She can't use the stairs so had to sleep in the chair. The lift people couldn't come out for two weeks so we found another company who came out the next day. They have ordered a part but can give no indication of how log it will be before they get it let alone fix it. (I suspect that if I took it apart I could get it going again).
Meanwhile my siblings have been texting all bloody morning with ideas about putting her in a home, moving a bed downstairs, getting an extra care visit p.m. etc.
Then mother who is deaf, finally gets her hearing aids charged and tells us she is very happy and is quite prepared to weather the storm til the lift is fixed!
What a waste of a morning
IIRC your mother lives near Hitchin. Till recently my best friends mother in law was in sheltered accommodation in Hitchin . She was there for several years till she died. My friend really rated the place, so much so that he is tempted to buy an apartment there now to let out till he needs it.First world problems
My mother (93yrs) lives alone in a big house. My 3 remaining siblings all live a considerable distance from her. She has a carer go in once a day.
3 days ago shortly after my last visit her 'thru floor' lift packed up. She can't use the stairs so had to sleep in the chair. The lift people couldn't come out for two weeks so we found another company who came out the next day. They have ordered a part but can give no indication of how log it will be before they get it let alone fix it. (I suspect that if I took it apart I could get it going again).
Meanwhile my siblings have been texting all bloody morning with ideas about putting her in a home, moving a bed downstairs, getting an extra care visit p.m. etc.
Then mother who is deaf, finally gets her hearing aids charged and tells us she is very happy and is quite prepared to weather the storm til the lift is fixed!
What a waste of a morning
Apparently while there is the option to live an independent life there 2 qualified carers permanently on site, there is the option of taking communal hot meals daily, evening entertainment several times a week. Bingo, film night, speakers etc. They organise day trips to the seaside for fish and chips, garden centres etc. Also it is 5 minutes walk for able bodied people to Hitchin town centre with all its shops, pubs, restaurants etc.
I appreciate that is some people`s idea of hell but some will love that sort of thing. If I could remember the name of the place I`d put it here. I can`t but happy to get it from my friend if you are interested.
Do they have drag racing and wheelie nights for retired bikers?
I expect so, it`s a reputable company.
All I ever imagine about the place is the seaside trips for fish and chips being like the famous boat scenes from One Flew Over The Cuckoos Nest.
Thank you,
She is certainly not ready to leave her home of over 70 years just yet. Given the choice she will stay there til the end. If she does become unable to cater for herself she will have to go into a care home. we have one in mind but the one you refer to sounds as though it might be well worth a look.
In short yes please.
I`ll check and let you know.
I hesitate to say anything here but I wish that families that are considering a care home for elderly parents could spend a month living in the home they have in mind.
I worked in a rest/care home for eighteen months, back in 2001/02.
When the time comes, if I still have my mental faculties but otherwise can longer look after myself, I will attempt to kill anyone who tries to put me in a home.
Other opinions could be valid.
I worked in a rest/care home for eighteen months, back in 2001/02.
When the time comes, if I still have my mental faculties but otherwise can longer look after myself, I will attempt to kill anyone who tries to put me in a home.
Other opinions could be valid.
I have visited various friends and relied in ‘homes ‘ and they vary bigly.
There is one at Earswick nr York run by The Quakers which is/was excellent.
The one my FiL was in was good but they promised more than they provided
There is one at Earswick nr York run by The Quakers which is/was excellent.
The one my FiL was in was good but they promised more than they provided
A friend up here has his wife in a home because she has advanced Alzheimers. He looked after her himself for as long as he could, then brought in a live-in carer. Eventually there was no option but residential care. It took him three goes and a couple of years to find her somewhere good where she was happy and properly cared for.
The second home was appalling. His wife is doubly incontinent and gets very distressed without a familiar routine. They moved around through the day which set her screaming at strange surroundings. Then they said she's upsetting other residents so they shut her in a room for twenty hours a day, not feeding her properly and frequently not changing or cleaning her. All for the bargain price of £2500 a month. She was always in great distress. She would scream and slap him when he went to see her and any gifts he brought her like flowers, clothes or soft toys always went missing. The stress it caused him was horrendous.
When he cared for her at home he would take her down the pub a couple of nights a week. She would sit there happily repeating anything anyone around her said, smiling constantly and clapping her hands and insisted on giving everyone a hug before she went home. She was always immaculately dressed on her nights our, her hair neatly pinned with her favourite jewellery and make-up on and her shoes polished. He did all that for her himself. To see her go from that to what she became in the home nearly broke him. He took to drinking heavily and wasn't taking care of himself. It was painful to watch.
He eventually found somewhere good where she's properly cared for. She's happy and smiling and welcomes him with open when he visits every day. The bad homes put her behaviour down to her condition which he accepted because he didn't know otherwise, never having gone through this experience before.
A nurse working in the home had turned whistle blower and told him what was going on and helped him find somewhere suitable. He's now suing the negligent home and is determined to get it shut down. Luckily he's very well off financially. I dread to think how anyone without his resources would cope with what he went through.
The second home was appalling. His wife is doubly incontinent and gets very distressed without a familiar routine. They moved around through the day which set her screaming at strange surroundings. Then they said she's upsetting other residents so they shut her in a room for twenty hours a day, not feeding her properly and frequently not changing or cleaning her. All for the bargain price of £2500 a month. She was always in great distress. She would scream and slap him when he went to see her and any gifts he brought her like flowers, clothes or soft toys always went missing. The stress it caused him was horrendous.
When he cared for her at home he would take her down the pub a couple of nights a week. She would sit there happily repeating anything anyone around her said, smiling constantly and clapping her hands and insisted on giving everyone a hug before she went home. She was always immaculately dressed on her nights our, her hair neatly pinned with her favourite jewellery and make-up on and her shoes polished. He did all that for her himself. To see her go from that to what she became in the home nearly broke him. He took to drinking heavily and wasn't taking care of himself. It was painful to watch.
He eventually found somewhere good where she's properly cared for. She's happy and smiling and welcomes him with open when he visits every day. The bad homes put her behaviour down to her condition which he accepted because he didn't know otherwise, never having gone through this experience before.
A nurse working in the home had turned whistle blower and told him what was going on and helped him find somewhere suitable. He's now suing the negligent home and is determined to get it shut down. Luckily he's very well off financially. I dread to think how anyone without his resources would cope with what he went through.
Get those mercury levels up lad!One thing i don't eat a lot of is fish, being the son of a Gozitan dad i ate lot's of fish growing up and staying in Gozo for i month a year. When in Gozo we would go to the fish market that was held at the inland sea. Don't know if they still have it there but more than likely notbut it was caught that morning. A lot of it was still alive it was that fresh
, one thing i don't like is squid
.
The national fish of Gozo is the Lampuki that used to be on there stamps, the other name for it that is more commonly known is Dorado. Lovely fish, my dad would cook it and it is realy nice.
I used to eat a lot of tuna and out of the blue i get a serious craving for fish, the body telling you something imo so i'm going to start eating more from now on.
You're more than likely not far off the truth!!
Macarthy And Stone . Looks like they operate several around the country. Apparently the Hitchin one has a rental apartment that can be booked for short term trials to get a taste of the place without committing.
I should add that all my knowledge of the place is based on what my fiend has said to me over the years. I`ve never been.
People raise demons to help them with choosing holiday accommodation now?
I am so behind the times.
They have lots of places - five within about 15 miles of here.
They have their own construction company and ask big money for the apartments.
They built one in Lancaster 3 or 4 years ago and struggled to sell them. Rumour has it you could buy a 1 bedroom a for 60k when they were initially asking about 195k
The service charge is where they make their money and depends on what level of care is required.
Good service apparently as The Duke says.
Big difference between a residential care home and sheltered housing. My gran was in the latter for her last decade or so of her life back in the '80's. It worked out very well for her. She had no physical or mental degenerative conditions other than the increasing frailty of old age and was able to live independently with the security of a residential warden on hand at the pull of a cord if required. It can be a very good option for the old and lonely who are otherwise reasonably healthy. Hers was a council-rented flat which was covered by her pension so it made for a secure, relaxed and pressure-free existence in a small village setting within easy reach of her family and she was very happy there.
Sheltered housing apartments like McCarthy & Stone purchased on leasehold require a greater degree of financial independence and the confidence that buyers will be happy to remain there till the end of their lives. I guess they have rental options too but I don't know. I do know that if health takes a turn for the worse and a move to round the clock residential care becomes necessary, or if a relative feels they've made a mistake and want to move, leasehold sheltered apartments can be hard to sell and often have to be let go at a loss with obvious consequences. They can work very well in the right circumstances but can be very expensive of things don't work out.
Be careful with Mcarthy and Stone. They tend to be the builders of the complex's and leaseholders and whereever possible, try and guide sales and rentals through their own hand in hand company called Firstport, who used to operate as Peveral Property Management company who had a terrible history before rebranding as Firstport. Even as Firstport it has been in the past, suspended from their own trade body.
By all means deal with them but, make sure you read their small print
By all means deal with them but, make sure you read their small print
Last edited:
Thank you, Duke , Gim, and Noobie for the feedback.
I have heard of McCarthy And Stone as builders but didn't know they built these complexes for the elderly.
It is certainly something to bear in mind and look into for possible future reference.
The goal is for mother to live where she wants to, which so far is in her own home.
I have heard of McCarthy And Stone as builders but didn't know they built these complexes for the elderly.
It is certainly something to bear in mind and look into for possible future reference.
The goal is for mother to live where she wants to, which so far is in her own home.
That's the best option for her if that's what she wants. It was the same for my Mum. From a practical point of view it was far from ideal. The house was dilapidated, cluttered and labour intensive day to day being coal and wood-fired. And expensive - the house and garden was far too big for her on her own and took a lot of heating and cleaning which she couldn't manage. And things only got more difficult as her health and mobility deteriorated. So we had to make sacrifices and adapt. That's why I ended up living with her for the last eight years of her life. But despite the many stresses and problems, if she'd gone into a home I think she would have died unhappy and full of regret. As it was she could have been more comfortable in her final months but she was where she wanted to be and you can't put a price on that.
Similar we managed to keep mum at home by all rallying round to "mum sit", I'd do 8am till 2pm, a sibling would then take over until about 8pm when the carer night sitter would come, again another family member would be there for 8am, also close friends would step in, some days only short shift but we all mucked in.
Hard and stressful, but mum passed away in the house she loved.
Not sure I could have managed for eight years, you did well.
Hard and stressful, but mum passed away in the house she loved.
Not sure I could have managed for eight years, you did well.
"Not sure I could have managed for eight years, you did well."
That is the issue. We all live a long way off and have our own lives to live.
I'm able to get away at a moments notice and do when needed, But I am impatient to return home asap.
A 101 year old friend who had a stroke 10 years ago has been looked after by her daughter day and night with little to no respite. The daughter is nearest thing to an angel you'll find on this planet.
That is the issue. We all live a long way off and have our own lives to live.
I'm able to get away at a moments notice and do when needed, But I am impatient to return home asap.
A 101 year old friend who had a stroke 10 years ago has been looked after by her daughter day and night with little to no respite. The daughter is nearest thing to an angel you'll find on this planet.
I`m just at the beginning of this with my parents, luckily I have 2 brothers to help and we make sure one of us visits every day . My parents seem to have recently lost all concept of what is safe to eat and hold on to food that is way out of date, not just days but in some cases years. The best recent example is a bottle of open mayonnaise I found in their fridge with a use by date of march 2024. We are doing all their food shopping and now have to check dates of all old food when putting the new food away for them. Once I caught them with something in the fridge that I`d thrown in the bin in the kitchen a couple of days earlier. One of them actually took it out of the bin so now everything goes back to my house for the dog or if it`s too old in my wheelie bin or my brothers bins.
It wasn't by choice. I moved in temporarily when my rented house a couple of miles away was flooded at the end of 2012. It wasn't a freak event but the result of an idiotic decision by the estate that owned the place to dig a trench (downhill..) through a natural watercourse to the front door to lay a new telephone line.
The place wasn't habitable with the ground floor under a foot of water so I moved in with Mum while it was being sorted out. I wanted to return to my house as I've never been as happy as when I lived there, but for one thing the estate manager insisted the flood was down to global warming not his catastrophic trench digging and wasn't prepared to do any remedial work so it was obviously going to keep happening every wet winter (which it has); and it became clear my Mum couldn't cope on her own. Dad had died only 8 months before and she was alone for the first time in 52 years. She couldn't keep the place clean or manage the log burner and coal Rayburn on her own. She was paying a clumsy oaf of a village lad to take out the fire ash and rubbish every day and supply her with firewood. He wasn't doing a good job and she knew it but was just too nice to say so. She was also lonely and afraid of being alone in the house at night. So really, there was no option. I had to stay.
It was the most difficult period of my life and I know it's had a permanent effect on me. But what do you do?
I won't bore you all with the details but it's an extremely difficult position to be in. The family who drop in for visits when they can don't really understand the day to day challenges because they're not there all the time. As you say, they had their lives to lead. So did I, but mine had to be put on hold for years. You can't complain, not to family members who lived miles away and have families of their own and mortgages to pay; you can't feel sorry for yourself with a clear conscience, and you can't abandon you own mother.
Old people are stubborn. You want to make life easier for them (and yourself) but they're very resistant to change. You can't throw out anything that's knackered because it will have sentimental value. You can't repair or upgrade anything if it involves mess and upheaval. So you just have to live with it, do your best while the years tick by and watch your mother's decline. Strangely the house and garden where she'd lived all her married life and where I was born seemed to decline with her. Trees I'd known all my life died and fell, the old shed Dad built himself collapsed, windows rotted and you're just patching up and marking time so your mother can see out her days in the only place she knows. It leaves its mark on you.
I just tried to concentrate of the positives. It was fairly cheap living as the mortgage was long since paid off so we just shared the bills, and I had a large double garage to myself so I buried myself in my bikes. But I still felt guilrt when I went away on the bike for a week.
And I still beat myself up that I didn't do more; that I wasn't better company. You relive every argument and question every wrong decision which looking back you wish you'd done differently though you did what seemed best at the time.
If you can avoid that situation by spreading the load between siblings if they live close by, that is by far the best way to go.
I’ve been in the hospital since about 11am - getting out of breath easily, especially lying down; swollen legs and ankles.
The advise was go straight to A&E, and seeing as I don’t know who my GP would be, I did that.
I was getting tested within 5 minutes of getting there. More tests. Got sent to the SDEC (Same Day Emergency Care) unit. More tests and an x-Ray.
They think it’s Atrial Fibrillation- irregular heartbeat- which I knew I had, that hasn’t cleared the fluid properly hence the build up.
So I’ve got beater blockers to try and regulate the heart beat, and water tablets to clear the fluid.
Thankfully my blood pressure is ok…that would be more of a worry. And because of that there was no mention of statins. The other meds are temporary.
So I’m back there next week for a scan and update on how the pills are doing.
I’ve been sleeping bolt upright on the sofa since the weekend so hopefully I’ll get back into bed in a few days.
On a scale of what it could’ve been, it seems it’s at the low end
The advise was go straight to A&E, and seeing as I don’t know who my GP would be, I did that.
I was getting tested within 5 minutes of getting there. More tests. Got sent to the SDEC (Same Day Emergency Care) unit. More tests and an x-Ray.
They think it’s Atrial Fibrillation- irregular heartbeat- which I knew I had, that hasn’t cleared the fluid properly hence the build up.
So I’ve got beater blockers to try and regulate the heart beat, and water tablets to clear the fluid.
Thankfully my blood pressure is ok…that would be more of a worry. And because of that there was no mention of statins. The other meds are temporary.
So I’m back there next week for a scan and update on how the pills are doing.
I’ve been sleeping bolt upright on the sofa since the weekend so hopefully I’ll get back into bed in a few days.
On a scale of what it could’ve been, it seems it’s at the low end
Hope all goes well with the treatment!!I’ve been in the hospital since about 11am - getting out of breath easily, especially lying down; swollen legs and ankles.
The advise was go straight to A&E, and seeing as I don’t know who my GP would be, I did that.
I was getting tested within 5 minutes of getting there. More tests. Got sent to the SDEC (Same Day Emergency Care) unit. More tests and an x-Ray.
They think it’s Atrial Fibrillation- irregular heartbeat- which I knew I had, that hasn’t cleared the fluid properly hence the build up.
So I’ve got beater blockers to try and regulate the heart beat, and water tablets to clear the fluid.
Thankfully my blood pressure is ok…that would be more of a worry. And because of that there was no mention of statins. The other meds are temporary.
So I’m back there next week for a scan and update on how the pills are doing.
I’ve been sleeping bolt upright on the sofa since the weekend so hopefully I’ll get back into bed in a few days.
On a scale of what it could’ve been, it seems it’s at the low end
