Just testing the water, here. seeing what sort of backing i might get!!!!!
I think i might stand for El Presidente and im going to give you good reasons to support me.
1. My strong interprsonal skills
2. My very poor record of turning up for events ( who wants a bossy presidente hanging about)
3. My strong dislike of facial hair.
4. My forward thinking ways
5. My strong dislike of beurocracy (i hate it that much i cant even spell it).
6. My shy retiring nature ( never known to say anything to upset the applecart)
7.Oh and obviously my handsome good looks, (got to be a usefull benefit on publicity material).
Is there anything ive missed there, and is there anybody with a stronger case?
I might like to stand.
My (possibly stronger) argument=
I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees. I write award winning operas, and manage time efficiently.
Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row. I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook thirty-minute cookies in twenty minutes.
I am an expert in martial arts, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru. Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play the trumpet, was once scouted by Manchester United, and I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I am bored, I build large suspension bridges in my back garden.
I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays after work I repair electrical appliances free of charge.
I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critic’s worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don’t perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. Last summer I toured Wales with a travelling centrifugal-force demonstration.
My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me. I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish the entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every item in the supermarket. I have performed several covert operations with the MI5.
I sleep once a week: when I do sleep, I sleep standing up. While on holiday in Portugal, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery.
The laws of physics do not apply to me. I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let of steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down.
I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli and a toaster oven. I breed prize-winning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin.
I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis.
But I have not yet been an elected member of the SDC committee.
