Spud Raver
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What I did on my summer holiday - by Theo Walcott aged 8 31/32
I went to a place called Germany with my Uncle Sven and some other grown ups. It
is a country in Europe where a bad man called Adolf used to live with his
nazties, he does not live there anymore, Uncle Owen does live there, and the
grown ups say I cant talk about the bad man as it will make Uncle Owen cry if I
do. In Germany there are lots of castles and some mountains.
We are staying in a place called Baden Baden that's a silly name, Uncle Frank
has the same name as his dad, that's silly too, his mum must get their
underpants mixed up all the time.
On the aeroplane Uncle Sol sat next to me, he got me some toffee and wants to be
my friend, he works at the place where I do my YTS, so does Uncle Freddy but him
and Uncle Sol are not best friends anymore. Uncle Owen met us at the airport, he
talks foreign, Uncle Wayne, Uncle Steven and Uncle David also talk funny, my mum
says Uncle David talks like Orville, he is a duck, Uncle Sol says uncle David
wears dresses and knickers, and asked me if I had ever worn them. Uncle Sol got
me some pop.
In Germany the grown ups are going to play football, my grandad says we beat
them in the olden days before my mum was born. That is a long time ago.
While the grown ups went to play football so I went shopping with Auntie Vicky
and some other girls she bought me a big ice cream and got herself a little one
but she said she was full before she had eaten any and threw it away. She
bought lots of shoes and handbags and let me play with Brooklyn. She say's she
used to be in a pop band and sang me one of her songs, I
think she was telling fibs. I told Uncle Sol about my day out with Vicky and he
sulked, then he bought me an even bigger ice cream with lots of hundreds &
thousands on it.
All the other grown ups have a girlfriend except Uncle Sol so he plays with me
while they go out. Uncle Sven says I must keep Uncle Sol happy, that's why I got
taken on holiday.
The grown ups went to play Football against somebody called Sweden, Uncle Sol
was crying as Uncle Freddy played for them and would not talk to him.
Uncle Sol bought me lots of toffee today and some crisps. Uncle Sven is from
Sweden and I heard him on the phone to their boss last night.
Uncle Michael hurt his knee and had to go home to his mum for a plaster. Uncle
Peter is a giant, a proper giant like you see in books, he is rubbish at
football though. Uncle Wayne had a sore toe at the start of out holiday but it
got better so they let him play football.
Uncle Sol got me a present but I do not like it. He says all Germans wear
leather underpants and I should while we are
here, they are too tight for me.
All the grown ups started to call Uncle Wayne a potato head who stood on
somebodys spuds. He got shouted at by the referee. They are all saying that we
have to go home now.
Uncle Sol was crying again and I had to sit on his knee to make him stop. He
had his mobile phone in his pocket, I think.
Allegedly
I went to a place called Germany with my Uncle Sven and some other grown ups. It
is a country in Europe where a bad man called Adolf used to live with his
nazties, he does not live there anymore, Uncle Owen does live there, and the
grown ups say I cant talk about the bad man as it will make Uncle Owen cry if I
do. In Germany there are lots of castles and some mountains.
We are staying in a place called Baden Baden that's a silly name, Uncle Frank
has the same name as his dad, that's silly too, his mum must get their
underpants mixed up all the time.
On the aeroplane Uncle Sol sat next to me, he got me some toffee and wants to be
my friend, he works at the place where I do my YTS, so does Uncle Freddy but him
and Uncle Sol are not best friends anymore. Uncle Owen met us at the airport, he
talks foreign, Uncle Wayne, Uncle Steven and Uncle David also talk funny, my mum
says Uncle David talks like Orville, he is a duck, Uncle Sol says uncle David
wears dresses and knickers, and asked me if I had ever worn them. Uncle Sol got
me some pop.
In Germany the grown ups are going to play football, my grandad says we beat
them in the olden days before my mum was born. That is a long time ago.
While the grown ups went to play football so I went shopping with Auntie Vicky
and some other girls she bought me a big ice cream and got herself a little one
but she said she was full before she had eaten any and threw it away. She
bought lots of shoes and handbags and let me play with Brooklyn. She say's she
used to be in a pop band and sang me one of her songs, I
think she was telling fibs. I told Uncle Sol about my day out with Vicky and he
sulked, then he bought me an even bigger ice cream with lots of hundreds &
thousands on it.
All the other grown ups have a girlfriend except Uncle Sol so he plays with me
while they go out. Uncle Sven says I must keep Uncle Sol happy, that's why I got
taken on holiday.
The grown ups went to play Football against somebody called Sweden, Uncle Sol
was crying as Uncle Freddy played for them and would not talk to him.
Uncle Sol bought me lots of toffee today and some crisps. Uncle Sven is from
Sweden and I heard him on the phone to their boss last night.
Uncle Michael hurt his knee and had to go home to his mum for a plaster. Uncle
Peter is a giant, a proper giant like you see in books, he is rubbish at
football though. Uncle Wayne had a sore toe at the start of out holiday but it
got better so they let him play football.
Uncle Sol got me a present but I do not like it. He says all Germans wear
leather underpants and I should while we are
here, they are too tight for me.
All the grown ups started to call Uncle Wayne a potato head who stood on
somebodys spuds. He got shouted at by the referee. They are all saying that we
have to go home now.
Uncle Sol was crying again and I had to sit on his knee to make him stop. He
had his mobile phone in his pocket, I think.
Allegedly
