I haven't watched it nor heard of him before.
Well allow me to assist you in your ignorance.
The 2013 Human Rights Oration
Delivered by Geoffrey Robertson QC
19 November 2013
Thank you, John, for that overkind introduction – certainly kinder than the one I got in Glasgow the other day, where the chairman, with a very pronounced Scottish accent, said to the audience, “I want to introduce a distinguished liar”.
Well, it’s a great privilege to give this lecture to celebrate the 65th anniversary of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, a document which Australians helped to draft, and which was handed by Eleanor Roosevelt to the President of the General Assembly of the United Nations on December the 10th, 1948. That President was Dr H V Evatt, the Australian Foreign Minister, who presciently predicted that it would become the “Magna Carta for mankind”. He said millions of women, men and children would look at it in future times for inspiration and protection against oppression. It was a charter that emerged, optimistically, from the worst of human rights abuses in the Nazi gas chambers, and it was the way the world then said, “Never again. Never again will we tolerate genocide or torture or mass murder, and we will not tolerate those lesser incursions on individual freedom from which these greater evils spring if they are tolerated”.
If we shrug our shoulders and say, as the Australian Prime Minister said in Colombo a couple of days ago – I quote – “Sometimes in difficult circumstances, difficult things happen”. Human rights atrocities are not “difficult things”. They are evils, and the Universal Declaration enjoins us to condemn them. And I want, in this lecture today, to talk about a few difficult things of the moment. Who guards the guardians – the guardians … the Australian guardians who thought it right to hack into the telephones of our Indonesian allies. I want also to say a few words about gunboat diplomacy, by which I mean giving gun boats to unrepentant human rights violators. And I want to outline the latest – and I think interesting and optimistic – development in human rights, that targets what I’d call the train drivers to Auschwitz – not the leaders, but the lesser figures who obey orders, and if they can be deterred from obeying such orders by what is now called a Magnitsky law, Australia can join the international movement to adopt one, that I suggest will be a very important development.
I should first perhaps apologise for my accent. I am, as
Private Eye puts it, an Australian who’s had a vowel transplant. But that comes from all the time of bowing and scraping in the English courts. My very first case I had to do at the Old Bailey was to defend a fellow who was convicted of wearing an indecent t-shirt, and I had to explain to a terrifying appeal judge – High Court judge – what the case was all about. And I spoke with pronounced … you know, those irritable Australian vowels – France and branch – and I said to him, “My Lord, this is a case about a t-shirt which had the logo ‘F*ck art, let’s dance’”. And there was this terrifying silence. And the judge said, “F*ck art, let’s
what, Mr Robertson?” And I said, “Dance, My Lord, dance”. There was another terrifying silence and he said, “Oh, you’re an Australian. What you’ll have to learn to say, Mr Robertson, if you’re going to succeed at the English Bar is f*ck art, let’s dahnce”.
Well I felt sorry for Alexander Downer when he briefly became leader of the opposition and had to hire a voice coach to change his vowels from BBC English to Channel Nine Australian and teach him to say “dance”.
And … well, to amputate his polysyllables. It’s just too hot in Australia to say all of a long word. But now I’m what is described as a dual citizen, by which it means I can have my prostate felt in Harley Street in London and my teeth examined in Sydney’s Macquarie Street, because if you look at English teeth you’ll understand why. I’m one of a million, actually, Australian expatriates. We’re certainly not ex-patriots - when tragedy strikes the sunburned country we grieve; we are lassoed by the umbilical coil. It was my wife who organised that ceremony in Westminster Abbey a couple of years ago for the Victoria fire victims. And we do feel for this country and we feel pride. We also sometimes, unfortunately, feel shame.
It’s a great pleasure to be here in Victoria, in modern Victoria. A particular pleasure because I grew up in Sydney in the ‘60s, when Victoria really was another country. Henry Bolte was busy hanging people, while Arthur Rylah, the Attorney General, insisted that nothing should enter the state that would be unsuitable for his 14-year-old daughter. Now I wrote for
Oz magazine, which was published in Sydney, and before the magazine could be distributed in Melbourne Gordon and Gotch, the distributors, had to black out words like “vagina”, lest Mr Rylah’s daughter might discover that she had one. It was the time of the Vietnam War, and I remember my first article for
Oz was a satire on the hawks and doves in the political aviary, and it was illustrated by Garry Shead, who’s now, of course, a wonderful famous Australian painter. But he depicted LBJ and Harold Holt as birds of prey, with long-slung bombs in the form of testicles.
And Gordon and Gotch insisted on blacking out all Garry Shead’s testicles before they could pass the line at Albury-Wodonga. Well, testicles and music were to come together later in my legal career in Britain when I defended Richard Branson after Virgin Records had been charged with indecency for promoting the cover of a record
Never Mind the Bollocks, Here’s the Sex Pistols. And they argued that bollocks was an indecent word. So I called a professor of the English language to describe to the court the etymology of the good old English word bollocks – how it had been used in the meaning of testicles in the Caxton edition of the
Bible, in the Song of Solomon, and … but in the King James edition it had been replaced by the word “stones”, at which Richard Branson passed me a note saying, “Geoff, don’t worry if we lose the case; we’ll retitle the album
Never Mind the Stones, Here’s the Sex Pistols”.
Anyway, in my youth in Sydney we joked about Melbourne’s cultural pretensions – a city without an opera house. We were building the Sydney Opera House, which we then turned into a big recital hall with a small opera theatre on the side. It couldn’t, of course, manage
The Ring Cycle, but Sydney has solved the problem of its impossible opera house by actually moving opera out onto the water. It’s sort of pontoon opera, where you can see the best of the Opera House, which is its exterior, in the background. And since you can’t have a successful cultural event in Sydney without fireworks, and fireworks would be a safety hazard inside the opera theatre, you can now come and watch fireworks against the silhouette of the Opera House and get opera performance as a kind of optional extra. But Sydney certainly couldn’t stage the greatest musical drama of all time,
The Ring Cycle, which Melbourne last night triumphantly managed.