You are easily offended and flounce an awful lot, but certainly would not tip over 'quietly' more like an earth quake me thinksSOME DAYS, I WISH EASILY OFFENDED PEOPLE WOULD ACT LIKE FAINTING GOATS AND QUIETLY TIP OVER.
no offence meant @The GOAT
What the feck have you done today?
- Thread starter The GOAT
- Start date
There will be chunks missed out on this as a lot has happened in the last two weeks
Dad.
Due to his dementia, this normally placid man has over the last few months become quite aggressive and threatening in tone and behaviour but thankfully no violence so far. In older folk there can often be personality changes if dehydrated and so with a lack of fluids and an obsession with senacot and suppositories, dads behaviour has been all over the place. Even though he has twice daily carers for meds (now locked in a safe because he nearly o/d before the safe), it has been impossible to allow him an independent lifestyle without consequences to his health and state of mind.
Over the last few months he has fixated on pain that isn't there and has visited the hospital, called out ambulances, called the police multiple times a day and even attending A&E somtimes twice in a day. In hindsight we should have acted sooner but our only excuse was to keep the dad we knew as long as we could before the dementia took him away from us and he no longer knew who we were.
Because he fixated on the pain he doesn't have, he had convinced himself no one was helping him, he told gp's, doctors, dementia team that he was going to kill himself several times, outlying stabbing himself, overdoses, drowning in a river etc. This caused the mental health team to join the situation. Short term memory losses we could cope with but his obsessive use of phone calls to ambulances and police as well as A&E visits was the sign dad was moving away from reality.
Then the beginning of last week, his carer went round in the evening to give dad his meds and dad refused. Carer calls brother who said I'll come over. The carer was making the call in his car so as not to upset dad but could see the front door and as he hung up, he saw dad come out of his bungalow with a screw driver trying to stab himself multiple times in his chest. Carer god bless him and out of reflex, jumped out of the car and removed the screw driver from dad. He then phoned my brother again and dad left the area only to be found again by the carer and a passer by just as dad jumped in front of a bus. Thankfully the bus was slow moving and no one was injured but quite a few were shook up. Just then my brother arrived and all was explained.
An ambulance was called and dad was taken to A&E and they kept him till about 2am then put him in a ward adjacent to the A&E. He was in there whilst various tests were run but more multiple visits from dementia and mental health teams. A few days ago he was moved to a dementia unit in the hospital to finalise his assesment. During that time we all got multiple calls during the day and nights with various levels of confusion from "why can't I go home", to him believing his single room is actually his bungalow and being angry why people keep coming in. Most of us have had the abuse like"you are all fucking useless" and as far as phone calls saying " I fucking hate you" before then hanging up. He has gone down hill probably not as quickly as we think but it's become very clear and very quickly that the dad we knew is rapidly dissapearing and this mr angry is taking over, sometimes not even recognising us or his surroundings.
On the practical side, our resident coffee maker, WCP
, advised poa's (Power of Attorney's). There were two, one to cover his medical side and one to cover his financial side. Even though he doesn't have a pot to piss in, the financial poa meant named family member/members can act on dads behalf on things like his account, bills, etc etc. The medical one is now in operation in that it supported the urgency to protect dads safety and well being by him being admitted. No family ever wants to do this as it's a huge emotional rollercoaster and unpleasant. It does mean the care home they select for him, the family has an input in if we are unhappy with their choice so he has some protection there.
The mention so far is that they are looking to place him in a care home for dementa sufferers possibly by the end of the week but the have warned us it could be anywhere in Essex. Again the medical POA gives us some leverage as to try and keep him local.
I know I won't be the only one who has gone/going through this and even at our ages, the loss of our parents through this cruel illness can almost destroy families as the impact ripples out like waves in a pond, eeing them leave twice not only in personality but then in person also. If you are going through this and considering we are from an age group that were raised not to talk about such things, there are a number of options if you feel family is not an option or if the family are struggling too.
www.dementiauk.org
www.alzheimers.org.uk
www.ageuk.org.uk
Dad.
Due to his dementia, this normally placid man has over the last few months become quite aggressive and threatening in tone and behaviour but thankfully no violence so far. In older folk there can often be personality changes if dehydrated and so with a lack of fluids and an obsession with senacot and suppositories, dads behaviour has been all over the place. Even though he has twice daily carers for meds (now locked in a safe because he nearly o/d before the safe), it has been impossible to allow him an independent lifestyle without consequences to his health and state of mind.
Over the last few months he has fixated on pain that isn't there and has visited the hospital, called out ambulances, called the police multiple times a day and even attending A&E somtimes twice in a day. In hindsight we should have acted sooner but our only excuse was to keep the dad we knew as long as we could before the dementia took him away from us and he no longer knew who we were.
Because he fixated on the pain he doesn't have, he had convinced himself no one was helping him, he told gp's, doctors, dementia team that he was going to kill himself several times, outlying stabbing himself, overdoses, drowning in a river etc. This caused the mental health team to join the situation. Short term memory losses we could cope with but his obsessive use of phone calls to ambulances and police as well as A&E visits was the sign dad was moving away from reality.
Then the beginning of last week, his carer went round in the evening to give dad his meds and dad refused. Carer calls brother who said I'll come over. The carer was making the call in his car so as not to upset dad but could see the front door and as he hung up, he saw dad come out of his bungalow with a screw driver trying to stab himself multiple times in his chest. Carer god bless him and out of reflex, jumped out of the car and removed the screw driver from dad. He then phoned my brother again and dad left the area only to be found again by the carer and a passer by just as dad jumped in front of a bus. Thankfully the bus was slow moving and no one was injured but quite a few were shook up. Just then my brother arrived and all was explained.
An ambulance was called and dad was taken to A&E and they kept him till about 2am then put him in a ward adjacent to the A&E. He was in there whilst various tests were run but more multiple visits from dementia and mental health teams. A few days ago he was moved to a dementia unit in the hospital to finalise his assesment. During that time we all got multiple calls during the day and nights with various levels of confusion from "why can't I go home", to him believing his single room is actually his bungalow and being angry why people keep coming in. Most of us have had the abuse like"you are all fucking useless" and as far as phone calls saying " I fucking hate you" before then hanging up. He has gone down hill probably not as quickly as we think but it's become very clear and very quickly that the dad we knew is rapidly dissapearing and this mr angry is taking over, sometimes not even recognising us or his surroundings.
On the practical side, our resident coffee maker, WCP
, advised poa's (Power of Attorney's). There were two, one to cover his medical side and one to cover his financial side. Even though he doesn't have a pot to piss in, the financial poa meant named family member/members can act on dads behalf on things like his account, bills, etc etc. The medical one is now in operation in that it supported the urgency to protect dads safety and well being by him being admitted. No family ever wants to do this as it's a huge emotional rollercoaster and unpleasant. It does mean the care home they select for him, the family has an input in if we are unhappy with their choice so he has some protection there.The mention so far is that they are looking to place him in a care home for dementa sufferers possibly by the end of the week but the have warned us it could be anywhere in Essex. Again the medical POA gives us some leverage as to try and keep him local.
I know I won't be the only one who has gone/going through this and even at our ages, the loss of our parents through this cruel illness can almost destroy families as the impact ripples out like waves in a pond, eeing them leave twice not only in personality but then in person also. If you are going through this and considering we are from an age group that were raised not to talk about such things, there are a number of options if you feel family is not an option or if the family are struggling too.
Home
Dementia UK is a charity that provides Admiral Nurses for families affected by dementia. Call our Dementia Helpline to find out how we can support you.
www.dementiauk.org
Get help to write or update your Will
We can help you get an up-to-date Will, in a way that works best for you – in person with a local solicitor, online or over the phone. You'll be doing something incredible: leaving a legacy to help us fight dementia.
www.alzheimers.org.uk
Age UK | Let's change how we age
Age UK is the leading charity for older people. Visit Age UK today for help, information and advice or to see how you can donate or give support.
As you know i lost my Mum Dad Auntie and Uncle in quick succession, all i have now is my two cousins in Northampton and my sister! And of course my son and my beautifull Grandaughter! I have big family in Gozo but at the moment i can't see me getting over to see them anytime soon!! My Auntie went the same way @Noobie God bless you for your dealing with it, it's tough but i think in the end dude thing's will settle and it will all make sense!!There will be chunks missed out on this as a lot has happened in the last two weeks
Dad.
Due to his dementia, this normally placid man has over the last few months become quite aggressive and threatening in tone and behaviour but thankfully no violence so far. In older folk there can often be personality changes if dehydrated and so with a lack of fluids and an obsession with senacot and suppositories, dads behaviour has been all over the place. Even though he has twice daily carers for meds (now locked in a safe because he nearly o/d before the safe), it has been impossible to allow him an independent lifestyle without consequences to his health and state of mind.
Over the last few months he has fixated on pain that isn't there and has visited the hospital, called out ambulances, called the police multiple times a day and even attending A&E somtimes twice in a day. In hindsight we should have acted sooner but our only excuse was to keep the dad we knew as long as we could before the dementia took him away from us and he no longer knew who we were.
Because he fixated on the pain he doesn't have, he had convinced himself no one was helping him, he told gp's, doctors, dementia team that he was going to kill himself several times, outlying stabbing himself, overdoses, drowning in a river etc. This caused the mental health team to join the situation. Short term memory losses we could cope with but his obsessive use of phone calls to ambulances and police as well as A&E visits was the sign dad was moving away from reality.
Then the beginning of last week, his carer went round in the evening to give dad his meds and dad refused. Carer calls brother who said I'll come over. The carer was making the call in his car so as not to upset dad but could see the front door and as he hung up, he saw dad come out of his bungalow with a screw driver trying to stab himself multiple times in his chest. Carer god bless him and out of reflex, jumped out of the car and removed the screw driver from dad. He then phoned my brother again and dad left the area only to be found again by the carer and a passer by just as dad jumped in front of a bus. Thankfully the bus was slow moving and no one was injured but quite a few were shook up. Just then my brother arrived and all was explained.
An ambulance was called and dad was taken to A&E and they kept him till about 2am then put him in a ward adjacent to the A&E. He was in there whilst various tests were run but more multiple visits from dementia and mental health teams. A few days ago he was moved to a dementia unit in the hospital to finalise his assesment. During that time we all got multiple calls during the day and nights with various levels of confusion from "why can't I go home", to him believing his single room is actually his bungalow and being angry why people keep coming in. Most of us have had the abuse like"you are all fucking useless" and as far as phone calls saying " I fucking hate you" before then hanging up. He has gone down hill probably not as quickly as we think but it's become very clear and very quickly that the dad we knew is rapidly dissapearing and this mr angry is taking over, sometimes not even recognising us or his surroundings.
On the practical side, our resident coffee maker, WCP
The mention so far is that they are looking to place him in a care home for dementa sufferers possibly by the end of the week but the have warned us it could be anywhere in Essex. Again the medical POA gives us some leverage as to try and keep him local.
I know I won't be the only one who has gone/going through this and even at our ages, the loss of our parents through this cruel illness can almost destroy families as the impact ripples out like waves in a pond, eeing them leave twice not only in personality but then in person also. If you are going through this and considering we are from an age group that were raised not to talk about such things, there are a number of options if you feel family is not an option or if the family are struggling too.
Home
Dementia UK is a charity that provides Admiral Nurses for families affected by dementia. Call our Dementia Helpline to find out how we can support you.
Get help to write or update your Will
We can help you get an up-to-date Will, in a way that works best for you – in person with a local solicitor, online or over the phone. You'll be doing something incredible: leaving a legacy to help us fight dementia.
Age UK | Let's change how we age
Age UK is the leading charity for older people. Visit Age UK today for help, information and advice or to see how you can donate or give support.
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Good post Noobie, not meaning your Dad of course but just hard to normalise this kind of thing. The poa stuff is worth doing in advance if possible as it can simplify dealing with some of the other shit. Going through a situation similar to this without the dementia, just major health issues at the moment, and now with my Dad since my mum passed.
Thinking of you @Noobie . We were spared this with my father, who was starting to suffer from short term memory loss when frailty and a lo g standing lung complaint did him in. With Mom, we say went through the whole range. It is no fun. She sadly spent her last days in a care home wandering around half lost and wondering who all the strangers were, and where they lived.
Best of luck!
Best of luck!
Bless you Noobs, an awful situation. All the best to you, dad and your family. Your dad is a legend on here.There will be chunks missed out on this as a lot has happened in the last two weeks
Dad.
Due to his dementia, this normally placid man has over the last few months become quite aggressive and threatening in tone and behaviour but thankfully no violence so far. In older folk there can often be personality changes if dehydrated and so with a lack of fluids and an obsession with senacot and suppositories, dads behaviour has been all over the place. Even though he has twice daily carers for meds (now locked in a safe because he nearly o/d before the safe), it has been impossible to allow him an independent lifestyle without consequences to his health and state of mind.
Over the last few months he has fixated on pain that isn't there and has visited the hospital, called out ambulances, called the police multiple times a day and even attending A&E somtimes twice in a day. In hindsight we should have acted sooner but our only excuse was to keep the dad we knew as long as we could before the dementia took him away from us and he no longer knew who we were.
Because he fixated on the pain he doesn't have, he had convinced himself no one was helping him, he told gp's, doctors, dementia team that he was going to kill himself several times, outlying stabbing himself, overdoses, drowning in a river etc. This caused the mental health team to join the situation. Short term memory losses we could cope with but his obsessive use of phone calls to ambulances and police as well as A&E visits was the sign dad was moving away from reality.
Then the beginning of last week, his carer went round in the evening to give dad his meds and dad refused. Carer calls brother who said I'll come over. The carer was making the call in his car so as not to upset dad but could see the front door and as he hung up, he saw dad come out of his bungalow with a screw driver trying to stab himself multiple times in his chest. Carer god bless him and out of reflex, jumped out of the car and removed the screw driver from dad. He then phoned my brother again and dad left the area only to be found again by the carer and a passer by just as dad jumped in front of a bus. Thankfully the bus was slow moving and no one was injured but quite a few were shook up. Just then my brother arrived and all was explained.
An ambulance was called and dad was taken to A&E and they kept him till about 2am then put him in a ward adjacent to the A&E. He was in there whilst various tests were run but more multiple visits from dementia and mental health teams. A few days ago he was moved to a dementia unit in the hospital to finalise his assesment. During that time we all got multiple calls during the day and nights with various levels of confusion from "why can't I go home", to him believing his single room is actually his bungalow and being angry why people keep coming in. Most of us have had the abuse like"you are all fucking useless" and as far as phone calls saying " I fucking hate you" before then hanging up. He has gone down hill probably not as quickly as we think but it's become very clear and very quickly that the dad we knew is rapidly dissapearing and this mr angry is taking over, sometimes not even recognising us or his surroundings.
On the practical side, our resident coffee maker, WCP
The mention so far is that they are looking to place him in a care home for dementa sufferers possibly by the end of the week but the have warned us it could be anywhere in Essex. Again the medical POA gives us some leverage as to try and keep him local.
I know I won't be the only one who has gone/going through this and even at our ages, the loss of our parents through this cruel illness can almost destroy families as the impact ripples out like waves in a pond, eeing them leave twice not only in personality but then in person also. If you are going through this and considering we are from an age group that were raised not to talk about such things, there are a number of options if you feel family is not an option or if the family are struggling too.
Home
Dementia UK is a charity that provides Admiral Nurses for families affected by dementia. Call our Dementia Helpline to find out how we can support you.
Get help to write or update your Will
We can help you get an up-to-date Will, in a way that works best for you – in person with a local solicitor, online or over the phone. You'll be doing something incredible: leaving a legacy to help us fight dementia.
Age UK | Let's change how we age
Age UK is the leading charity for older people. Visit Age UK today for help, information and advice or to see how you can donate or give support.
We were fortunate in that my father in law had been very frugal and had the money to have the best care in a local specialised care home. The worst part was the feeling of betrayal when we left him imprisoned behind a locked door.
Thank you for writing up your experience. I'm sure it will help others who will no doubt have to go through this gut wrenching experience to know that they are not alone.
Thank you for writing up your experience. I'm sure it will help others who will no doubt have to go through this gut wrenching experience to know that they are not alone.
Really sorry to read that Noobie. My mum was suffering with dementia but fortunately for us she never got to the stage that she would have to leave her own home.
I hope things work out better for you moving forward.
I hope things work out better for you moving forward.
On the power of attorney front it's worth setting them up for yourself before required - saves a bit of stress in the event of being required in anger
My sister has just done hers and I’m doing mine but it’s just gone up by £10.
The noobie premiumMy sister has just done hers and I’m doing mine but it’s just gone up by £10.
Probably not an issue to 99% but if you set it up in Scotland it's arguably not 100% enforceable in England and Wales but legal people say it will be honoured and vice versa if set up in England and Wales
My Dad left that too late. He didn't have dementia but he'd had a series of strokes and by the end he couldn't sign his name on th documents. A doctor had to be present with the solicitor at his bedside to confirm that he was sufficiently compus mentus to make decisions and he said that Dad was not and the power of attorney documentation had to be abandoned.
Fortunately he had put the family home (his biggest asset) in trust long before his decline so there was no danger of it being confiscated by the state if he needed long-term care. That's another thing to consider. If your parent's have valuable assets protect them early on. Consult a solicitor and an accountant and get your ducks in a row well ahead of time. If the worst happens it's hard to find the mental energy to deal with financial matters in the midst of it all and it can lead to disaster.
Luckily my family are all on good terms and there was no danger of any serious disputes which can tear families apart in the absence of power of attorney. But even though we all get on it was stressful and at times not exactly harmonious when it came to making decisions. It's particularly hard if one sibling is living with a declining parent (as I was with my mum) and the others are not, because you see things that the others don't and they often don't understand all the every day issues and the pressure you're under and that's where disputes can start. We nearly had a few but we got through it. I can see how relations in more fractious familes can easily become toxic.
Getting it thrashed in advance and putting it in a legal document greatly reduces the grief. Don't delay.
Jesus Noobie, he's putting you through it!
Really hard for all concerned when the person is in that stage where they realise somehting is very wrong, and they're tormented with it. I think most people would choose to check out when they're going through that.
A permenent professional setting sounds the only solution now, for his and others safety, and also for his care.
My ex father in law eventually had to go in a home. Within a few weeks of being there he seemingly had a new wife...they'd be sitting together holding hands when the MIL, his actual wife turned up and he didn't know who she was. After the initial shock, she saw the funny side, and found it comforting because he had a friend.
There's guilt at first, but before long you realise it is the right decision (providing it's a well run home).
Really hard for all concerned when the person is in that stage where they realise somehting is very wrong, and they're tormented with it. I think most people would choose to check out when they're going through that.
A permenent professional setting sounds the only solution now, for his and others safety, and also for his care.
My ex father in law eventually had to go in a home. Within a few weeks of being there he seemingly had a new wife...they'd be sitting together holding hands when the MIL, his actual wife turned up and he didn't know who she was. After the initial shock, she saw the funny side, and found it comforting because he had a friend.
There's guilt at first, but before long you realise it is the right decision (providing it's a well run home).
Very to sorry to here this noobs ... my thoughts are with you in this very difficult situationThere will be chunks missed out on this as a lot has happened in the last two weeks
Dad.
Due to his dementia, this normally placid man has over the last few months become quite aggressive and threatening in tone and behaviour but thankfully no violence so far. In older folk there can often be personality changes if dehydrated and so with a lack of fluids and an obsession with senacot and suppositories, dads behaviour has been all over the place. Even though he has twice daily carers for meds (now locked in a safe because he nearly o/d before the safe), it has been impossible to allow him an independent lifestyle without consequences to his health and state of mind.
Over the last few months he has fixated on pain that isn't there and has visited the hospital, called out ambulances, called the police multiple times a day and even attending A&E somtimes twice in a day. In hindsight we should have acted sooner but our only excuse was to keep the dad we knew as long as we could before the dementia took him away from us and he no longer knew who we were.
Because he fixated on the pain he doesn't have, he had convinced himself no one was helping him, he told gp's, doctors, dementia team that he was going to kill himself several times, outlying stabbing himself, overdoses, drowning in a river etc. This caused the mental health team to join the situation. Short term memory losses we could cope with but his obsessive use of phone calls to ambulances and police as well as A&E visits was the sign dad was moving away from reality.
Then the beginning of last week, his carer went round in the evening to give dad his meds and dad refused. Carer calls brother who said I'll come over. The carer was making the call in his car so as not to upset dad but could see the front door and as he hung up, he saw dad come out of his bungalow with a screw driver trying to stab himself multiple times in his chest. Carer god bless him and out of reflex, jumped out of the car and removed the screw driver from dad. He then phoned my brother again and dad left the area only to be found again by the carer and a passer by just as dad jumped in front of a bus. Thankfully the bus was slow moving and no one was injured but quite a few were shook up. Just then my brother arrived and all was explained.
An ambulance was called and dad was taken to A&E and they kept him till about 2am then put him in a ward adjacent to the A&E. He was in there whilst various tests were run but more multiple visits from dementia and mental health teams. A few days ago he was moved to a dementia unit in the hospital to finalise his assesment. During that time we all got multiple calls during the day and nights with various levels of confusion from "why can't I go home", to him believing his single room is actually his bungalow and being angry why people keep coming in. Most of us have had the abuse like"you are all fucking useless" and as far as phone calls saying " I fucking hate you" before then hanging up. He has gone down hill probably not as quickly as we think but it's become very clear and very quickly that the dad we knew is rapidly dissapearing and this mr angry is taking over, sometimes not even recognising us or his surroundings.
On the practical side, our resident coffee maker, WCP
The mention so far is that they are looking to place him in a care home for dementa sufferers possibly by the end of the week but the have warned us it could be anywhere in Essex. Again the medical POA gives us some leverage as to try and keep him local.
I know I won't be the only one who has gone/going through this and even at our ages, the loss of our parents through this cruel illness can almost destroy families as the impact ripples out like waves in a pond, eeing them leave twice not only in personality but then in person also. If you are going through this and considering we are from an age group that were raised not to talk about such things, there are a number of options if you feel family is not an option or if the family are struggling too.
Home
Dementia UK is a charity that provides Admiral Nurses for families affected by dementia. Call our Dementia Helpline to find out how we can support you.
Get help to write or update your Will
We can help you get an up-to-date Will, in a way that works best for you – in person with a local solicitor, online or over the phone. You'll be doing something incredible: leaving a legacy to help us fight dementia.
Age UK | Let's change how we age
Age UK is the leading charity for older people. Visit Age UK today for help, information and advice or to see how you can donate or give support.
@Noobie all the best to you, your dad and family. My dad went quickly to cancer, which is bad but easier mentally, my mum is currently in a home with parkinsons and is just out of hospital due to infections (homes don't help due to lots of bugs flying around) I'm going to see her on Saturday and hopefully she'll be feeling a bit better. This time of year seems to be the worst.
You're doing the right thing getting him looked after full time although he will not like it when he knows what's going on
You're doing the right thing getting him looked after full time although he will not like it when he knows what's going on
Feel for you mate; it’s a rocky road for sure.
My sister & I, with the help of a care team, managed to keep my mother in our family home for 4 years after loosing my dad. It got progressively worse in every way for everyone; including mum.
In the end, we had no choice but to place her in a nursing home for her own safety. She wasn’t expected to live long at the time but we are now 4 years in. She is 85 & despite many co-morbidities, is physically quite well. Mentally, the dementia has taken everything my mum was; she still knows me, but our visits are exhausting! The mantra ‘no good deed goes unpunished’.
Financially, the LA have taken my parents life savings & now want her share of my parents house. I can’t sell it yet because we need the rent to contribute to a £1500 per week care bill.
Something is very wrong with our system!
Good luck to you pal & as difficult as it may become, try not to loose a sense of who your dad was.
My sister & I, with the help of a care team, managed to keep my mother in our family home for 4 years after loosing my dad. It got progressively worse in every way for everyone; including mum.
In the end, we had no choice but to place her in a nursing home for her own safety. She wasn’t expected to live long at the time but we are now 4 years in. She is 85 & despite many co-morbidities, is physically quite well. Mentally, the dementia has taken everything my mum was; she still knows me, but our visits are exhausting! The mantra ‘no good deed goes unpunished’.
Financially, the LA have taken my parents life savings & now want her share of my parents house. I can’t sell it yet because we need the rent to contribute to a £1500 per week care bill.
Something is very wrong with our system!
Good luck to you pal & as difficult as it may become, try not to loose a sense of who your dad was.
My FiL's care home charged about £ 5,000 month IIRC and he lasted two and a half years in there. I think he would have gone on a lot longer if he hadn't got an infection in his leg which would have required amputation, which he would not have recovered from thus he went down the ever increasing doses of morphine route.
Thanks to everyone for their kind comments and best wishes. People's own story's shown this is more common than is talked about and information share whether a little or not, can help other members out in both support and advice.
As to the Power of Attorney, you can do it yourself Make, register or end a lasting power of attorney or through a solicitor
As to the Power of Attorney, you can do it yourself Make, register or end a lasting power of attorney or through a solicitor
, hope that you are able to get things organised and have less stress about his wellbeing 
My parents are still together after 66 years of marriage, Dad is 91 and Mum 88. They are both pretty good , helped I`m sure by the fact that they are together but 4 years ago they moved from what had been the family home to an apartment and while it is more manageable for them there is no doubt in my mind that the lack of stairs is bad news. They would both have been up and down half a dozen times a day and while my Dad has always been good about using the apartment block stairs regularly my Mum has not . Stay out of bungalows and flats as long as possible IMO.
@Noobie , Im sad to read all that 
. my father too suffered from dementia in his later life, the anger your dad is exhibiting is because he knows things aren’t right inside his head yet is helpless to do anything about them. The frustration of wanting to be able to remember and not being able spills over into anger. It’s incredibly hard for everyone around them, family and carers.
I’m happy you managed to get the POAs sorted, sadly on the financial side you now have to face the administrative hassle of lodging the POA with the court, getting requisite certificate, and then dealing with the banks and jumping through all their hoops n order to get access to your dad’s accounts. It is a real PITA.
For anyone else reading this, I cannot advise you strongly enough to get POAs drawn up now, 2, one to cover your health and wellbeing, the other to cover your finances. If you don’t you’re leaving your loved ones in an untenable situation.
Also, get them drawn up by a solicitor. Yes, you can do it yourself, but the DIY version won’t cover every possible eventuality, if your solicitor is even just a little bit efficient they will do a much more thorough job. It will cost money now but will save money in the long run.
. my father too suffered from dementia in his later life, the anger your dad is exhibiting is because he knows things aren’t right inside his head yet is helpless to do anything about them. The frustration of wanting to be able to remember and not being able spills over into anger. It’s incredibly hard for everyone around them, family and carers. I’m happy you managed to get the POAs sorted, sadly on the financial side you now have to face the administrative hassle of lodging the POA with the court, getting requisite certificate, and then dealing with the banks and jumping through all their hoops n order to get access to your dad’s accounts
. It is a real PITA. For anyone else reading this, I cannot advise you strongly enough to get POAs drawn up now, 2, one to cover your health and wellbeing, the other to cover your finances. If you don’t you’re leaving your loved ones in an untenable situation.
Also, get them drawn up by a solicitor. Yes, you can do it yourself, but the DIY version won’t cover every possible eventuality, if your solicitor is even just a little bit efficient they will do a much more thorough job. It will cost money now but will save money in the long run.
Wow, 66 years! Well done to them...I think I'll be sick of myself by then.
Thanks Paul, your POA advice undoubtedly gave us the input to support the dementia and mental health team in making sure after a close shave, to put dads safety first even if emotionally the guilt on doing so plays heavy on us. I believe it plays heavy because he is our dad and we love our parents.
We are fortunate on the financial poa because the amount of money involved for dad equates to one months average wage and with no pensions or assets but absolutely, if your parents financial package is more than that then a poa will be invaluable. Just to show why try going into your parents bank and say can I talk to someone about dads account as they have dementia, the first thing they will ask for is a poa.
We are fortunate on the financial poa because the amount of money involved for dad equates to one months average wage and with no pensions or assets but absolutely, if your parents financial package is more than that then a poa will be invaluable. Just to show why try going into your parents bank and say can I talk to someone about dads account as they have dementia, the first thing they will ask for is a poa.
Thought for Today:-
Bradford has changed a lot in the last 10yrs
Finally got my proof of funds accepted by my useless solicitor so hopefully completion on my new house next Tuesday. 
Finally got my proof of funds accepted by my useless solicitor so hopefully completion on my new house next Tuesday.
We funded a 2 container deal between a Danish company and an Egyptian company as A wanted paying on loading and B didn't want their money tied up until the arrival of the goods a month or so later.
When it came time for B to pay us, their bank wouldn't let them pay us direct because we weren't noted as the shipper on the docs. So they had to pay A, and then they will pay us. It took the Egypt bank (via a US bank) 10 days from leaving their account to arriving in the Danish account.
We're used to 2-4 day delays on international receipts, but it's getting daft now.That money has been on someone's ledger all that while, and the Egypt company is facing several days of demurrage fees at probably $400 a day. Banks are Guinnesss.